Contest! Name My Tumor!

The best anyone (the missus and her friends) has come up with so far is “Timmy,” which is cute enough for around the house, but lacks both the grandiosity, absurdity and downright snarkiness it deserves.

So, the contest is open until, oh, I don’t know, further notice. And the grand prize? You can take the little fellow home in a jar of formaldehyde. Freak out generations of already terrified children or just feed it to your cat.

My loss is your gain.

Published in: on March 4, 2006 at 9:32 pm

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  1. On March 6, 2006 at 5:50 pm b.a. Said:

    I assume multiple entries are allowed:

    1.Aiwass (or Aiwaz “the minister of Hoor-paar-kraat,” or Horus, the god of force and fire, child of Isis and Osiris)

    2. Jibreel

    3.Wesley Willis

  2. On March 13, 2006 at 10:46 pm regulus Said:

    How about “Graczak?” And, no thanks, we don’t want it. Hope the removal of your oddity goes smoothly.

  3. On March 16, 2006 at 11:45 am Mark Said:

    I think cys (pronounced “sis” ;) would be a perfect name, that way if you make this a habit, the next one could have a big cys or little cys to beat up on. Since you are city dwellers, you might consider adding “la” or a few apostrophes for a little dramatic resume enhancing flair.
    ps. I really want to win this contest.

  4. On March 16, 2006 at 4:42 pm stavrogin Said:

    Patrick Stewart.

    As in, “Patrick Stewart’s in my head!”, or

    Doc:”Tom, we must remove Patrick Stewart before it’s too late.”
    Tom: “Make it so.”

  5. On March 16, 2006 at 4:44 pm Erik Said:

    I suggest:

    1) Zahir
    2) Jorge Luis Borges

    Because your description of the symptoms reminds me very strongly of the Borges story about The Zahir.

    3) Zaphod Beeblebrox

    Becaues I’m reminded of his intentional separation of a portion of his mind so that he could have ultimate deniability.

    And because I’ve always wanted to name something one of the following names, I also suggest:

    4) Genghis
    5) General Tso
    6) Hobert Riddles
    7) Milagros Stammer

  6. On March 16, 2006 at 4:58 pm eric Said:

    how about “chewy”?

  7. On March 16, 2006 at 4:58 pm Revan Said:

    don’t want it, but…
    Emperor Norton I

    I think that naming this tumor after America’s first and greatest emperor would honor his tenacity and general silly buggery along with a sense of grandeur.

  8. On March 16, 2006 at 5:00 pm Brian Jones Said:

    I’m gonna go with “Glurk,” the hangdog space alien with male/female genitalia in the great Lonely Planet sketch. Just cause I like the way he says, “That’s cool” and it sounds like something a benign tumor would say.

  9. On March 16, 2006 at 5:07 pm Donnie Van Said:

    Ordog the Slumbering Neoplasic.

  10. On March 16, 2006 at 5:08 pm brs89 Said:

    I am going with “Yorick”.

    Then you can hold it up and go to town:

    Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio: a fellow
    of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy:

  11. On March 16, 2006 at 5:10 pm Lisa BoBisa Said:

    Ethelred the Unready

    but that’s my answer to everything :)

  12. On March 16, 2006 at 5:14 pm mik Said:

    How about “Tumayenmihd”?
    or
    “Tommy Lee”

  13. On March 16, 2006 at 5:15 pm B-Train Said:

    Lloyd Lindsay Young?

  14. On March 16, 2006 at 5:19 pm Chris Said:

    Tomur the Tumor, formally of Tom’s head

  15. On March 16, 2006 at 5:21 pm Zang Said:

    ala Fight Club;

    “I am Tom’s brain tumor”

  16. On March 16, 2006 at 5:29 pm Sue Said:

    Lord Boomer D’Tumour

  17. On March 16, 2006 at 5:32 pm Tony Said:

    what about Tiberius, after William Tiberius Kirk?
    He was gradiose, over the top and made of ham. Of course your tumor isn’t made of ham, but it’s about as useful.

    Space the final frontier…..

  18. On March 16, 2006 at 5:32 pm Sam Blackman Said:

    As a neuro-oncologist, I’ve grappled with these beasts before, but have never quite given too much thought to naming a tumor, so I appreciate your contest! Here’s what I’ve come up with:

    1. Dora: Yes, it’s a feminine name, but bear with me. It’s a play on “dura” which is one of the meninges, or layers covering the brain, where your tumor initiated.

    2. Neo: It’s chic, it’s very Matrix-y, and it’s short for neoplasm (or neoplastic, if you’d like).

    3. Harvey: After Harvey Cushing, the historic neurosurgeon.

    Best of luck, sincerely, with the surgery!

  19. On March 16, 2006 at 5:39 pm Zang Said:

    Marla

  20. On March 16, 2006 at 5:50 pm DJMonsterMo Said:

    John Kimble

    “It’s not a tumahhh!”

  21. On March 16, 2006 at 6:07 pm Astro Zombie Said:

    Tumor Cruise.

  22. On March 16, 2006 at 6:15 pm rob Said:

    how about

    1) Hot Lunch

    or

    2) Oprah

  23. On March 16, 2006 at 6:24 pm Nancy Said:

    When my brain tumor was diagnosed, I closed my eyes and asked it its name. And it told me (Phil Vincent). I think you should ask it and see what it says.

  24. On March 16, 2006 at 6:35 pm Thin Said:

    Walter

    -or-

    Leonard

  25. On March 16, 2006 at 6:42 pm Pamela Said:

    Name it Waldo. As in,”Where is Waldo?”
    Here’s Waldo! I’ve found him! Alas!!

    Who’s coming for dinner, honey?

    Waldo. Really.

    And by the way, gross, I do not want your tumor. Have it bronzed and hang it from your rearview mirror.

  26. On March 16, 2006 at 6:44 pm eeep Said:

    I’d good with…

    1. Benedict the Mild

    2. The Hulk

    3. iQx2

  27. On March 16, 2006 at 6:45 pm Marty Said:

    Potus

    Secret Service acronym for President of the United States. (Please insert your own quip about the tumor currently in the White House.)

    Be well!

  28. On March 16, 2006 at 6:46 pm eeep Said:

    I’d go with…

    1. Benedict the Mild

    2. The Hulk

    3. iQx2

  29. On March 16, 2006 at 6:51 pm Citizen Premier Said:

    This one’s a no-brainer. Kuato, the mutant twin from Total Recall.

  30. On March 16, 2006 at 6:54 pm Citizen Premier Said:

    Also try “Sex.”

  31. On March 16, 2006 at 7:08 pm Citizen Premier Said:

    After reading your blog entry on the symptoms, I suggest the name Merely.

  32. On March 16, 2006 at 7:20 pm Will Said:

    Verissimus Simmons III

  33. On March 16, 2006 at 7:41 pm billgerat Said:

    MooP, after our Forum mascot. If you ever read our stuff, you’d agree we’re all a bunch of tumors.

  34. On March 16, 2006 at 7:47 pm Aaron Gyes Said:

    Laika, the first dog sent to space, from Russia. It was sent up with poisoned food to kill it just in case the space didn’t. The dog did die from overheating.

  35. On March 16, 2006 at 7:56 pm PNGrata Said:

    hey i’m glad you are getting rid of that “tomor”,

    may you recover soon

    regards
    -png

  36. On March 16, 2006 at 8:07 pm RICK! Said:

    My entry is Dimbleby.

    In honor of the movie How to Get Ahead in Advertising, in which a shoulder tumor sprouts eyes and a mouth and starts over the body of an advertising executive at a cross roads over his legacy

  37. On March 16, 2006 at 8:13 pm Aaron Said:

    John Malkovich. As in, “It’s my head!”

  38. On March 16, 2006 at 8:45 pm Devon Said:

    Roberto Benigni

  39. On March 16, 2006 at 8:47 pm Jason Said:

    Mr. Swelly

  40. On March 16, 2006 at 8:51 pm Devon Suter :: Pull My Finger » Blog Archive » I already called it Said:

    [...] Blogger with brain tumor is holding a contest to name the little bugger. Winner gets to take it home after he gets it removed. [...]

  41. On March 16, 2006 at 8:57 pm Dave Said:

    “Boomer The Tumor”

    “The Huck Finn Raft Episode”

    “The Great Green Jumping Frog Of Caliveras County”

    “My Digested Twin”

    “Kevin”

  42. On March 16, 2006 at 9:00 pm Anon Said:

    You’ll find your own name for it, but it will be more along the lines of “that M*F* G*D* lump of cells that destroyed my life.”

  43. On March 16, 2006 at 9:34 pm Conrad Said:

    Conrad

  44. On March 16, 2006 at 9:35 pm Aaron Lawrence Said:

    Zebediah
    Salchicha
    Wanda
    Esteban

  45. On March 16, 2006 at 9:39 pm Emily Camastra Said:

    1. Lady Higgenbottom

    2. Inspector Frommage

    3. Loki

    4. Zarathustra

  46. On March 16, 2006 at 9:42 pm DD Said:

    Tom

    Since it’s golf-ball sized, I suggest you call it “Titleist” or “Maxfli.”

    Big ups for the “Graczak” suggestion, though…

    Wishing you the best, buddy.

    DD

  47. On March 16, 2006 at 9:42 pm M. Goff Said:

    Meet Pistulio! The hypnotic tumoRRR!!!!
    That’s my vote for the the little fellas name.

    Zim: I laugh at your pitiful attempt at spying! Here I go. [Zim laughs]
    Dib: Go ahead! Laugh! But one day, you’ll be sitting in your house feeling all safe and secure, and then you’ll look over and I’ll be there, doin’ stuff!
    Zim: Stuff?! In my home?! Never! You’d have to find some kind of flaw in my security net! Since that could never possibly happen, you’ll have to do your ’stuff’ elsewhere! You haven’t discovered some kind of a flaw, have you?
    [Zim is outside his home when a Bloaty's Pizza Hog Delivery Boy walks to the door.]
    Bloaty’s Delivery Boy: Hey! [rings the doorbell] Hey! Here’s the pizza you ordered!
    GIR: [his eyes water] Thank you… I… I love you…
    [The delivery boy leaves, Zim confronts GIR.]
    Zim: GIR! We fend humans away from our home, not invite them over!
    GIR: I had a coupon!
    Zim: Why was there BACON IN THE SOAP?!
    GIR: I made it myself!!!
    GIR: I’m dancin’ like a monkey!
    Zim: Pustulio demands your attention!
    [The Skool children all look at Zim and his hypnotic pimple, Pustulio. They all become hypnotized and fall off the monkey bars.]

    http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Invader_Zim
    Hypnotized Child 1: I’m in pain.
    Hypnotized Child 2: It is as Pustulio wishes.
    Hypnotized Child 3: Does Pustulio wish for me to pop my spine back into place?
    Zim: Yes, very well.
    Dib: You can’t make me look! I’ll just shut my eyes! [closes his eyes]
    Zim: Oh, you’ll open them. You have to breathe sometime.
    Dib: NO! I… Wait… What do eyes have to do with breathing?
    [Dib opens his eyes and get hypnotized.]
    Zim: I’ll let you hold Pustulio’s little hand.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Invader_Zim

    Cheers, M. Goff

  48. On March 16, 2006 at 9:56 pm Sarah Said:

    “Athena Ngoc” a greek goddess who burst out of her father’s head, fully formed, and the vietnamese word for precious stone.

    i’ll decide if i actually want the thing if i win. (can i get it rigged up so it glows green, you think?)

  49. On March 16, 2006 at 10:05 pm Criss Said:

    For whatever reason, “Clem” is the only name that leaps to mind.

  50. On March 16, 2006 at 10:52 pm BitterOldPunk Said:

    Reading over the suggestions so far, I think the best of the lot is “Dora”, for the simple reason that it’s short and a reasonably obscure pun. “Clem” gets points for homespun affability, but doesn’t have much in the “zing” department. I suggest:

    1. The Alien Transmitter
    2. Uma (close to “-oma”, and “Oprah” has aleady been suggested.
    3. Fluffy

    Good luck!

  51. On March 16, 2006 at 11:01 pm Ian Said:

    I suggest you name it Renaldo.

  52. On March 16, 2006 at 11:02 pm Ian Said:

    I suggest you name it Renaldo.

  53. On March 16, 2006 at 11:59 pm Geodave Said:

    Sir Crispin Farthingshire

  54. On March 17, 2006 at 12:01 am Joel Said:

    Wilson or Spalding.

  55. On March 17, 2006 at 1:13 am Derrick Said:

    the phrase

    I would call it the phrase. You could capitolize it, call it The Phrase. It sounds like you already have been calling it the phrase for a long time now, why stop calling it the phrase now that you know what it is?

  56. On March 17, 2006 at 1:17 am Jay Said:

    Mr. Bigglesworthy

  57. On March 17, 2006 at 1:46 am Occam's Hammer Said:

    I’m thinkin’ “Georgia”

    It alludes to the large size and you have a built in theme song, “Georgia on my mind”

    Good luck!

    If I win, I think I’d rather have you attach a photo of me to your tumor and launch it into space. Is that an option?

  58. On March 17, 2006 at 3:23 am Rob Said:

    George Bush.

  59. On March 17, 2006 at 3:33 am jaz Said:

    my wife had a cyst and we called it Gloria. it was a nice name and it was useful to be able to discuss the cyst without using the word ‘cyst’. anyway, the cyst is gone and we are not using the name anymore. you are welcome to have it for your tumor. i ask for nothing in exchange.

    ps. i haven’t yet discussed this with my wife (and it was her cyst).

  60. On March 17, 2006 at 4:30 am Brian Said:

    Sir Cuddle Wuggums the Third

  61. On March 17, 2006 at 5:56 am Derrick Said:

    capitAlize

  62. On March 17, 2006 at 6:12 am Esther Said:

    How about doing some good and adding some mindshare to the ITMFA

    (http://www.impeachthemotherfuckeralready.com/)

  63. On March 17, 2006 at 6:13 am Esther Said:

    er, that cut off the rest of my post…by naming it Impeach, or Impeachment, or The Upcoming and Necessary Impeachment of George W. Bush?

  64. On March 17, 2006 at 6:32 am Daisy Said:

    Percy. Short and sweet. Hopefully just like the surgery.

  65. On March 17, 2006 at 7:22 am bibi Said:

    Sid. Sid(not so very)Vicious.

  66. On March 17, 2006 at 8:13 am mycroft Said:

    Doctor Orlack.

  67. On March 17, 2006 at 8:42 am Anonymous Said:

    Frank.

  68. On March 17, 2006 at 8:47 am Christy Said:

    When I was in high school I had a cyst on my ovary that we named Boobaka Badula Beuford. I would love for my cyst to have a little brother - maybe Cleetus Carmine Beuford?

  69. On March 17, 2006 at 8:51 am Laz Said:

    In my best “Ahnald” accent from Kindergarten Cop…

    name it…”It’s not a Tuma”

  70. On March 17, 2006 at 8:52 am Doug Said:

    My suggestion: Neo
    “Neoplasm” is the medical term for a tumor.

  71. On March 17, 2006 at 8:53 am Ben Said:

    Brian.

    Brian Tumor.

  72. On March 17, 2006 at 9:00 am Degen Said:

    While pregnant we found a website listing the “best” Mormon names. Our faves were:

    1. Tugdick for a boy
    2. K8 for a girl *we think that’s pronounced Kate*

    My mom thought that Tugdick’s middle name should be “Shitim”, a nice biblical name.

    PS Our son’s name is none of the above!

  73. On March 17, 2006 at 9:04 am Jim Said:

    Why not Hillaory

  74. On March 17, 2006 at 9:07 am Steve Said:

    Mordac

    He’s the evil-hearted director of Information Services for Dilbert’s company. He believes his mission is to make it as difficult as possible for employees to use their computers or the network. Sounds like a tumor to me.

  75. On March 17, 2006 at 9:08 am Steve Said:

    OR
    Phil, The Prince of Insufficient Light

    Ruler of Heck (for sinners whose transgressions aren’t serious enough for Hell). He pops up about once a year to impose mild sanctions for mild sins. For example, once he punished Dilbert by making him eat lunch with the accountants.

  76. On March 17, 2006 at 9:11 am Alchemist Said:

    My vote is for “Bud” or “Spud”.
    Good Luck and Good Health to you….

  77. On March 17, 2006 at 9:14 am Shfishp Said:

    “Tom’s Brain Hat”

  78. On March 17, 2006 at 9:15 am Anthony T. Said:

    How about:

    Caesar Dysplasia

  79. On March 17, 2006 at 9:15 am Nicole Said:

    How about Flavius? Ernesto?

  80. On March 17, 2006 at 9:16 am Shfishp Said:

    How about “Cherry Garcia” or “CookiePuss”

  81. On March 17, 2006 at 9:17 am Shfishp Said:

    “Jumpin’ Jim Brunzell”

  82. On March 17, 2006 at 9:17 am P. Legare Said:

    I suggest “The Blob”, and no thanks, I don’t want it either…..
    Have a great recovery, good health and long life.

  83. On March 17, 2006 at 9:17 am Doug Said:

    Julius Seizure

  84. On March 17, 2006 at 9:22 am BILL Said:

    How about Mergatroid?

  85. On March 17, 2006 at 9:23 am bunkum Said:

    Chip. When it comes out, you’ll be free of its control. And Guam will no longer be able to track you, via your tumor. That’s good, no?

  86. On March 17, 2006 at 9:26 am Eric Nastav Said:

    Name that tumor? How about Agent Smith?
    Or possibly Conan the Destroyer.

  87. On March 17, 2006 at 9:30 am Anonymous Said:

    how bout lumpy

  88. On March 17, 2006 at 9:30 am Helvis Said:

    GOD DAMN IT MAN, NAME IT AFTER ME! I’ve been categorized as a “cancerous growth” for YEARS! Might as well make it official!

  89. On March 17, 2006 at 9:31 am beef Said:

    by the way i gave the lumpy one

  90. On March 17, 2006 at 9:31 am Mike Said:

    I like either Baltazar or Cerberus.

  91. On March 17, 2006 at 9:33 am Helvis Said:

    I agree with the beef… lumpy sounds appropriate… or perhaps Lumptavious!

  92. On March 17, 2006 at 9:34 am Helvis Said:

    HAIL LUMPTAVIOUS!! CEASAR OVER ALL TUMORS!!!

  93. On March 17, 2006 at 9:41 am Gary Said:

    Either Chunky, or Coma Bud would be good

  94. On March 17, 2006 at 9:42 am Tom Colligan Said:

    I have the perfect name for your tumor. Give this serious consideration. As you learn more about the name, you will grow to see how appropriate it is - grow just like your tumor.

    Here is my strong suggestion:

    — Horseonovich –

    Why, you may ask, should you name your tumor Horseonovich…what is a Horseonovich? Let me tell you. I am Horseonovich. Yes, that is my name, Tom Horseonovich Colligan. But as a noun, a Horseonovich is a very special thing. A Horseonovich is something hard to define, but it has some specific characteristics:

    Cancerous
    Malignant
    Putrid
    Suppurating
    Vile
    Undesirable
    Repulsive
    Hated

    As you can see, Horseonovich is an ideal name for your lump. Please google Horseonovich for more information.
    Love,

    Tom

  95. On March 17, 2006 at 9:53 am Oweeens Said:

    Mr T.

    Enough said

  96. On March 17, 2006 at 10:02 am Trenchant_Troll Said:

    Tumor Raider

  97. On March 17, 2006 at 10:05 am METEW Said:

    I vote for Humma Kavula. Because i know how to vote for the smarter of the tumors.

  98. On March 17, 2006 at 10:08 am METEW Said:

    Ok… After reading them all… I think

    On March 16, 2006 at 5:39 pm Zang Said: |Edit This

    Marla

    says it all

  99. On March 17, 2006 at 10:16 am Anne Goss Said:

    Luntnut

    If I win, I’ll donate the tumor to the biology department of the college in which I work.

    Best wishes to you on your surgery. God bless!

  100. On March 17, 2006 at 10:20 am METEW Said:

    If I had a tumor I’d name it Marla…

    That sore on the roof of your mouth that would heal if only you would stop tonguing it.. But you can’t.

  101. On March 17, 2006 at 10:25 am chet Said:

    How bout “KRULL”

  102. On March 17, 2006 at 10:32 am Jason Said:

    How about “Itsnota” — so you can say Itsnota Tumor.

    Or Hillary Clinton

  103. On March 17, 2006 at 10:36 am downhill57 Said:

    How about Kenneth…

    As in “what’s the frequency Kenneth?”

  104. On March 17, 2006 at 10:41 am Dirxque Said:

    Maybe the tumor goes through life, known by thousands of people, and yet no one actually knows what his name is. Everyone pretends to know his name, but conversations turn awkward and difficult because no one actually does.

    Or, it can be the Bob Denver to your Alan Hale Jr., and you can simply call it “Little Buddy”, and pat it on the shoulder.

  105. On March 17, 2006 at 10:43 am tr0o Said:

    Name it Killer!

  106. On March 17, 2006 at 10:48 am Rokkr Said:

    Name it Grants.

  107. On March 17, 2006 at 10:52 am Useless Eater Said:

    Either “Glort”, as in “”Gort, Klaatu barada nikto”…

    or “Scooter”.

  108. On March 17, 2006 at 10:58 am Val Fatis Said:

    Fluffy. Nuff said.

  109. On March 17, 2006 at 10:59 am Barry Switzer Said:

    Bevo.

  110. On March 17, 2006 at 11:00 am Bill Naivar Said:

    Abercromby Theotis Bartholomew

  111. On March 17, 2006 at 11:02 am Paul Said:

    Just call it “Bob”

  112. On March 17, 2006 at 11:05 am MasterChief Said:

    I heard a funny rumor
    You sought to name a tumor
    To observe it out
    without a doubt
    You just gotta call it “Boomer”

  113. On March 17, 2006 at 11:05 am Glenn Duvall Said:

    With apologies to J.R.R. Tolkien, how about “Gollum”? A nasty little creature.

  114. On March 17, 2006 at 11:07 am Karan Said:

    Mort

  115. On March 17, 2006 at 11:08 am Joe Said:

    How about Slagathor…

  116. On March 17, 2006 at 11:10 am Big Dave Said:

    Louis XIV he had one he lost his tumor as well.

  117. On March 17, 2006 at 11:12 am METEW Said:

    Furt, the goblin in “Magic the Gathering” that keeps getting killed on the cards flavor text.

  118. On March 17, 2006 at 11:12 am Bobby Said:

    How about “Spam”

  119. On March 17, 2006 at 11:14 am Marcus Aurelius Said:

    Name it Maximus the Tumorous.

  120. On March 17, 2006 at 11:18 am Big Dee Said:

    how about “PoPa”, pronounced “poppa”

    as in…”What do you call ‘Pimple ‘On a ‘Polacks ‘Ass?” answer? Brain tumor…..

    oldest braintumor joke I know…..

  121. On March 17, 2006 at 11:20 am Steve Said:

    Hedley Lamarr

    As in “That’s Hedley!”

  122. On March 17, 2006 at 11:23 am Derek Said:

    Lorenzo

  123. On March 17, 2006 at 11:25 am web Said:

    How about GizMo!

  124. On March 17, 2006 at 11:47 am Frank Rizzo Said:

    I suggest one of the following…

    Frank Rizzo

    Fifi Trixiebell

    Sal Rosenberg

    Jack Torse

    William Rivers Pitt or WillPitt

    DUmmie

  125. On March 17, 2006 at 11:53 am Scott Said:

    How bout Trogdor? As in Trogdor the Burninator… He burns down thatch roof cottages…

  126. On March 17, 2006 at 12:03 pm dan Said:

    “Brain Fungus”. Not necessarily a formal name but very descriptive.

  127. On March 17, 2006 at 12:06 pm j Said:

    WILLANOMA
    SPAGHETTI (A GREAT NAME FOR ANYTHING, and it tates good!)

  128. On March 17, 2006 at 12:09 pm badbeans Said:

    1. Theodore Kennedy
    2. John F. Kerry
    3. Hillary

    Those are the first things that come to mind when I think of cancerous tumors. Or you could just call it “Liberal”.

  129. On March 17, 2006 at 12:22 pm BPD Said:

    Long Duck Dong

  130. On March 17, 2006 at 12:27 pm Peter Goldsmith Said:

    “The voices” or “the voice” or “the voice of reason”…as in, “I had the voice of reason removed from my brain”, or “doctor, would you please remove the voices from my head.”

  131. On March 17, 2006 at 12:39 pm Mr. Michael Said:

    Hmmm… this IS a toughie! (By the way, I got the link in, of all things, a techie forum. :shrug: )

    My tumor was at the base of my spine, so it’s name was “Brain Tumor” (With the associated mandatory jokes surrounding my Brain Surgery and Asphault), but location won’t work as well for yours as a source of humor.

    How about something that will set you apart and cause envy among your buddies? You’re into music, I’m sure your friends are, too.

    Name your Tumor “Song”.

    That way, of course, you’ll be the envy of your friends as being the first person to REALLY get that Song out of your head.

  132. On March 17, 2006 at 12:49 pm Max Said:

    How about Dick? As in “little head”. Guys always think with their little head

  133. On March 17, 2006 at 12:50 pm SB Said:

    The artist formerly known as brain
    Lisa Lobe
    Mungo Jerry

    When all else fails, call it Carl.

  134. On March 17, 2006 at 1:00 pm ELK Said:

    Skeeter. That’s even better than Bubba.

  135. On March 17, 2006 at 1:10 pm Chad Khendrick Said:

    Jamal Sholem McGuiness

  136. On March 17, 2006 at 2:03 pm Aaron Said:

    Jezebel, Ronald, Woody, Scooter?

  137. On March 17, 2006 at 2:41 pm Fretboard Journal Blog»Blog Archive » Tom Lunt’s “Name My Tumor” Contest Said:

    [...] Tom Lunt (I wrote about his Numero Group label here) has been diagnosed with a brain tumor. He has also started a contest on his blog to give it a name. The winner of the contest gets the tumor in a jar of formaldehyde. Some of the entries so far include Boomer the Tumor, Sir Crispin Farthingshire, Tumor Raider, Brian Tumor and Timmy. Tom suggested my favorite one so far: Topsy, because “she ‘jes grew.” All of the FJ staff wish Tom a quick recovery.-MJS [...]

  138. On March 17, 2006 at 2:43 pm KSR Said:

    Voldimort

  139. On March 17, 2006 at 2:53 pm Jon Said:

    Dennis.
    It’s a nice name.
    President Nixon has a hedgehog named Dennis.

  140. On March 17, 2006 at 2:54 pm Jon Said:

    Tinsdale

  141. On March 17, 2006 at 2:55 pm EjIMBo Said:

    There’s only one name for it.

    The “Tumornator”.

    Hasta La Vista…. baby.

    It’ll be back.

  142. On March 17, 2006 at 3:20 pm Larry Said:

    How about Peeve? Keep it (I sure don’t want it) in a jar and when friends come over, introduce it as your pet peeve.

    Or keep it in a jar by the door, and call it Eleanor Rigby.

  143. On March 17, 2006 at 3:25 pm maddog Said:

    how about calling it hillary clinton?
    you’ll be glad when it is finally gone.

  144. On March 17, 2006 at 3:33 pm Carolyn Said:

    Boo Boo

  145. On March 17, 2006 at 3:45 pm Doug Said:

    How about Pinky? As in Pinky and the Brain.

  146. On March 17, 2006 at 4:44 pm Arthur Said:

    How about,
    “Skulldiggery” or would that be better utilized on your neuro-surgeon?
    Good luck, hope all goes well. You seem to have a great attitude, and that’s half the battle.

  147. On March 17, 2006 at 5:29 pm dante Said:

    Hi,

    I have a tumor too!

    I’ve named it “Dubya”. You can have that name too if it inspires you.

  148. On March 17, 2006 at 5:36 pm Lonny Said:

    I propose…

    FENROD

  149. On March 17, 2006 at 6:13 pm Pepper Said:

    The President.

    Distinquished sound. Important. And, it doesn’t matter what party anyone belongs to because you will be referring to The President that has been causing you headaches for a long time (probably) and that has nothing to do with any particular political entity.

    Good Luck with the Removal of The President.

  150. On March 17, 2006 at 6:26 pm Cliff L. Said:

    Lumpy is excellent, “The Lumpster” introduces more familiarity.

    So there you are, “The Lumpster”.

  151. On March 17, 2006 at 6:29 pm chance Said:

    Ishmael or moby grape maybe.

  152. On March 17, 2006 at 6:31 pm Doug Said:

    Romut

  153. On March 17, 2006 at 6:41 pm jon Said:

    How about Mulva(Seinfeld reference). Good luck w/whatever you decide to name it. Just kick its @$$.

  154. On March 17, 2006 at 9:16 pm Obbop Said:

    Only possible name fitting the critter is….

    Phred

    And, when the critter is gone, you can play that 1970’s song; Freddy’s Dead!!!!!!

  155. On March 17, 2006 at 9:19 pm sannorah Said:

    tiberius sounds really good. or simply “Q”, you know for the ‘god’ on star trek. all you wanted to do is be rid of him. good luck.

  156. On March 17, 2006 at 9:21 pm Paul Said:

    THUMPER!

  157. On March 17, 2006 at 10:09 pm Dave Said:

    1. Larry

    2. Spock

    3. Saurumon

    4. Joshua

  158. On March 18, 2006 at 3:25 am Matt Said:

    I vote that you name it Nokia.

    For obvious reasons :)

    Good luck with whatever happens.

  159. On March 18, 2006 at 6:46 am John Richards Said:

    How about Hillary.

    It is something that you have to get rid of or who knows what will happen if it hangs on.

  160. On March 18, 2006 at 9:09 am dave Said:

    How about “DEMOROID” As in democrat and hemorrhoid.Their
    both a pain in the ass and both can get in your head
    if your not careful.

  161. On March 18, 2006 at 10:07 am Robert Said:

    How about ( Buster Craneo ) I alwasy thought this would be a good name for a hispanic pro wrestler , but this could work for you. Buster of course a play
    on an old name for our purpose “one who breaks”
    and Craneo ” spanish for skull ” What do you think ?

  162. On March 18, 2006 at 11:08 am Mike Said:

    Chuck.

  163. On March 18, 2006 at 12:31 pm GS Said:

    Rob Roy Fingerhead

  164. On March 18, 2006 at 1:48 pm Joe Said:

    Ozzy

  165. On March 18, 2006 at 3:52 pm Les Said:

    Can there be another choice? It has to be named “Hillary”.

  166. On March 18, 2006 at 6:33 pm Lindsay Said:

    What about Ron? Or Sebastian (the crab from the little mermaid?)

    Thor, perhaps?

  167. On March 18, 2006 at 7:52 pm Brainiac Said:

    Ok….here goes

    Mr. Klingon Drain Bamage

    Olga Von Onnanugget

    Mario Inacabasa

    Slithero Fleshchunk

    Ok…Im worried about myself now

    Good luck on the surgery

  168. On March 18, 2006 at 8:27 pm Scott Said:

    Allister Zein Schplechmann;
    “Al” for short.

    Best of luck.

  169. On March 18, 2006 at 8:30 pm 24fc Said:

    How about a classic?

    “my uninvited guest”

    Which hopefully will soon leave and take his issues with him.

    Good luck!

  170. On March 18, 2006 at 8:57 pm Geoff Platta Said:

    Pff, this is easy. You can say you were the only man to ever defeat Chuck Norris if you name it after him.

  171. On March 19, 2006 at 2:35 am Ronald Bullington Said:

    Romut,

    to reverse the effects……..

  172. On March 19, 2006 at 8:57 am Doug Said:

    Several have suggested Hillary Clinton. How about the other NY senator: Chuck Schumer

  173. On March 19, 2006 at 11:43 am Kaizensan Said:

    “Budget” because some one needs to cut out the budget.

    “For Dinner” or “To Eat” so when I own it and someone asks…”What’s For Dinner” I can bring out the bottle and say “A Brain Tumor”. :-)

    “Blog”, so everyone can see your “Blog”.

  174. On March 19, 2006 at 11:52 am Kaizensan Said:

    Looking at anagram’s for Tom Lunt’s Tumor:
    6-letter words
    lottos, morons, motmot, motors, mottos, moults, mounts, mourns, mouton, mutons, mutton, ormolu, outrun, runout, stolon, strunt, summon, torous, trouts, tumors, tumour, tumult, tutors, unmoor, unroot, utmost

    7-letter words
    lustrum, motmots, moutons, muttons, nostrum, ormolus, outmost, outruns, outtrot, outturn, runouts, sunroom, surtout, tumours, tumults, turnout, unmoors, unroots

    8-letter words
    outstunt, outtrots, outturns, surmount, tortuous, tumorous, turnouts

    Of these I like “Mutton”

  175. On March 19, 2006 at 12:11 pm Steve Scheiwe Said:

    Jon,
    Dennis is not enough. Try Dennis the Menace.

  176. On March 19, 2006 at 1:56 pm Nony Mouse Said:

    Considering it’s an unwanted round thing…
    Pearl? hmm, or maybe Perl…

    For no appearent reason
    Eric the Red?
    Tee Time?
    Gnarly?
    Writer’s Blob? (in honor of the symptoms… ;)
    Junior Editor?
    Brain Plug? (in honor of some of the screeching you must be hearing @ SxSW)

  177. On March 19, 2006 at 2:58 pm mark Said:

    Spike or Max. “William” Tiberius Kirk??? Doesn’t have the same ring to it as “Jim” does. “Damn it, William, I’m a doctor not a busboy”??? I don’t think so.

  178. On March 19, 2006 at 5:38 pm Ken Said:

    Floyd the Barber!

  179. On March 19, 2006 at 7:47 pm donna Said:

    Elliott.

    I also like Bob.

  180. On March 19, 2006 at 7:48 pm donna Said:

    Skippy.

    Mildred.

    Edith.

  181. On March 20, 2006 at 4:08 am jason Said:

    I’m in this for the “goodies”; I’d love to take it home. Following a few of the Star Trek references, how about:
    B-Nine (like seven-of-nine), in thankful honor of its nature (”be-nign” ;)

  182. On March 20, 2006 at 8:45 am METEW Said:

    you know what… or

    “the tumor that shall not me named”

  183. On March 20, 2006 at 8:45 am METEW Said:

    Whoops typeo…. SORRY

    you know what… or

    “the tumor that shall not be named”

  184. On March 20, 2006 at 12:31 pm Doug Said:

    Head Cheese

  185. On March 20, 2006 at 12:37 pm Doug Said:

    Mini Me

  186. On March 20, 2006 at 12:40 pm Doug Said:

    Michael Jackson

  187. On March 20, 2006 at 3:02 pm Lauren Said:

    Name it “The Part I Use”

    As in, “Yes, I had the part I use removed..”

    no interest in winning the goody in the jar. good luck, and best wishes

  188. On March 20, 2006 at 5:07 pm muddy Said:

    I suggest you name him Steve.

  189. On March 21, 2006 at 4:18 pm Dan L Said:

    Spiny Norman.
    If you have to google it, skip it.

    On reading the other entries, I like
    Zaphod, and
    My President

  190. On March 22, 2006 at 1:36 pm METEW Said:

    Sorry guys… the best one so far is still Marla Singer.

    Jack: If I had a tumor, I’d name it marla…
    Marla… the little scratch on the roof of your mouth that would heal if only you could stop tonguing it, but you can’t.

    Tyler Durden: She’s a predator posing as a house pet.

  191. On March 22, 2006 at 2:04 pm gs Said:

    This is so obvious, I’m almost (but not quite) embarassed: Beatle Bob

    Get well soon!

  192. On March 23, 2006 at 1:57 pm jef Said:

    Meatloaf

    Good luck to you there, buddy.

  193. On March 24, 2006 at 7:08 am RYLZ Said:

    How ’bout Thaddeus?

    Or Alfonse?

  194. On March 24, 2006 at 7:18 am Chris M Said:

    My suggestion is Saint Vitus.

  195. On March 25, 2006 at 2:13 pm Thomas Exciting Said:

    Pope

    Gorilla Monster

    Lt. Albatros

    Colonal Trufflebottom

    Thurmond Tumor

    Trevor Tenacious

    Walter Frankenberry, D.D.S.

  196. On March 28, 2006 at 8:34 pm Diane Wolf Said:

    How about Pushy? as it is pushing on your brain.
    or Phrasin in the Sun (I know it’s long, but perhaps your tumor is Native American)

  197. On March 28, 2006 at 8:35 pm Diane Wolf Said:

    PS Good luck with the surgery.
    I hope you heal quickly and get all the good drugs.
    Peace.

  198. On March 30, 2006 at 8:28 am Alun Said:

    Hi I’m from the BBC in the UK and I’m trying to contact Tom could he give me a call please? 0 11 44 121 567 6715 or email me.

    Regards,

    Alun

  199. On May 23, 2006 at 3:26 pm Sue Said:

    I’m curious. How are you doing these days? Let your fans know!

  200. On June 13, 2006 at 3:59 am Dale Said:

    I thought President Nixons hedgehog was named Frank.

  201. On September 26, 2006 at 8:36 pm Blog, MD / In The First Person … Said:

    [...] It has been a while since I’ve mentioned how much I love the serendipitous nature of the Internet. The fact that by following threads here or links there, I can find so many items of interest is a never-ending source of amusement. Quite some number of months ago, I came across the weblog of Tom Lunt. Tom, if you recall, had been diagnosed with a brain tumor - a meningioma - and was scheduled to have surgery. Instead of lamenting the fact that he had to undergo an operation, instead of worrying away the hours, he turned his situation in to a contest. The “Name My Tumor” contest. [...]

  202. On October 11, 2006 at 2:42 am hs Said:

    How about “Headroid.”

  203. On January 13, 2007 at 12:47 pm Spinal Tumor Said:

    So who ended up winning? And did anyone claim the prize? ;)

  204. On January 13, 2007 at 1:04 pm Tom Lunt Said:

    The winner was a musician in LA who will recieve the revised prize* on my next trip to the coast.

    The winners are at the post, “And the winners are…”

    *once they take your tumor away, it’s not legal to get it back - so I discovered too late. So I offered a framed, autographed photo of the little bugger instead.

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